Apognophos, I certainly hope that a collapse of the US economy, such as what some, not even necessarily hysterical, voices are insisting is imminent. *sigh*, doesn't result in widespread starvation. It just frightens me to...well...death!
Gypsy, I checked out Hitchens book on Amazon and I still think it might be just a little bit TOO brutal for me to endure right now. A blow-by-blow account of what it's like to die from cancer written by perhaps the most brutal essayist the world has known...I guess at one point he does a (again) brutal take-down that cherished inspirational Nietzsche aphorism 'what doesn't kill me makes me stronger'.
Pterist, yes, the PROCESS is what makes it so frightening. Think of all the horrific ways that it could happen! *shudders*
Band, I too was one of the (probably in the majority) of witnesses that felt that I wouldn't make it through the big A because of not having done enough to be pleasing and having secret sins and vices.
Comatose, thanks for the kind words. The past two months have been the most difficult ones of emotionally of my entire life, by far (see my breakup guilt thread for the source of my extreme angst).
Ucantnome, it may have been a function of my age (i was in my 20s during most of my time with the JWs) but I didn't really fear or hardly think about dying. The big A was too close.
HBH, i may check out those people you mentioned. If I don't 'check out' first that is. Don't worry, i'm not in the active planning stages of doing anything. It's just something that I THINK about a lot. Because I think a lot. I think too damn much. And I do see a therapist.
So they're playing that Geico commercial on TV with that melancholy Allman Brothers song (Midnight Rider). I don't oowwwwwwwnnnn the clothes i'm wearin', and the roooooooadddddd goes on forever...just kinda choked me up a little, not sure why.